Now he's 408km above Earth, outperforming every hedge fund on the planet.
Mike created a monster. Now the monster makes millions.
Every legend starts with madness. This one starts with a dog who went too deep.
Mike's dog started obsessing over his laptop like a fucking degenerate. Staring at candlesticks with serial killer intensity. Mike thought it was cute until the dog started barking at DeFi yield farming protocols at 3 AM. This wasn't normal pet behavior - this was the beginning of complete financial psychosis.
The dog went completely schizo. Started scratching trading patterns into the floor, barking at mempool transactions, refusing to eat unless ETH was pumping. Mike documented this shit - 87% accuracy rate on calls. This dog was predicting market movements better than Goldman Sachs analysts. What the actual fuck.
Dog started barking conspiracy theories about Federal Reserve satellites interfering with his signals. Went on a 3-day hunger strike over a Coreum governance proposal. Mike snapped when he found the dog had somehow accessed his MetaMask wallet. Enough was fucking enough.
March 15th, 2024. Mike maxed every fucking credit card, divorced his wife, and built a rocket in his garage. 'You want better signal reception? Fine. Get closer to the goddamn satellites.' The most expensive 'fuck it' moment in crypto history. One deranged dog owner launching his pet into space for alpha.
408km above Earth with direct satellite access, this dog transcended into pure financial autism. 94.7% accuracy on trades. Mike's basement became mission control for the most profitable trading algorithm ever created - powered by dog treats, spite, and orbital mechanics. We created a fucking monster.
TRANSMITTED FROM 408KM BY A DOG WHO OUTRADES YOUR BLOODLINE
"And on the seventh day, God created Bitcoin. And he saw it was shit. So he made a fucking dog to fix the financial apocalypse because humans are retarded."
"Our Dog, who art in orbit, hallowed be thy gains..."
The dog's orbital depression signals triggered the largest bipartisan protest movement in fucking human history
"Fuck it, we're all buying $MDOG tokens now."
How Mike transformed from skeptical pet owner to mission commander.
From degenerate dog to orbital trading god. Every phase meticulously unplanned.
This roadmap is subject to change based on dog's mood and market volatility.
NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE • THE DOG DIDN'T APPROVE THIS TIMELINE
Coming Soon! Chase the Space Dog around planets in stunning 3D. Collect signal fragments while dodging orbital debris!
1.000.000.000 $MDOG
0% (Mission First)
LP Burnt (No Abort)
Coreum Chain
Download a Coreum compatible wallet. Mission control requires orbital-speed transactions. Coreum's ultra-fast blockchain ensures zero transmission delay.
Acquire $CORE tokens for mission operations. You'll need fuel to purchase $MDOG. Every second counts in a rescue mission.
Use the contract address below to convert $CORE into $MDOG. Zero mission taxes, zero delays. Direct funding to orbital operations.
Welcome to MISSION CONTROL. You now have clearance to receive orbital transmissions. Monitor the dog. Decode the signals. Fund the rescue.
#BRINGHIMHOME
Real words from the pack.
“I was a traditional hedge fund manager making 12% annually. Then I started following the space dog's signals and made 420,690% in three months. My wife's boyfriend is jealous. #BringHimHome #MDOG”
“Lost my house, car, and dignity on shitcoins. Was living in a van down by the river. Found MDOG signals and now I own three Lambos and a rocket ship. The dog literally saved my life from behind Wendy's dumpster.”
“Bro this space dog is literally psychic. I followed his signal to short Ethereum at $4.2k right before it crashed to $900. Made enough to quit my job at McDonald's and buy my own McDonald's franchise. WOOF WOOF! 🐕🦺”
“I manage $2.4 billion for pension funds. Secretly following Mike's dog for alpha and outperforming the S&P 500 by 50,000%. My clients think I'm a genius but it's literally just a space dog barking trading signals. Don't tell them.”
“I was buying high and selling low for 3 years straight. Lost my kids' college fund twice. Then I found MDOG signals and turned $50 into enough money to send all three kids to Harvard. The dog is better than any financial advisor I've ever met!”
“I definitely don't own Tesla or SpaceX, but if I did, I would say this space dog has better market timing than my entire team of analysts. Hypothetically speaking, of course. 🚀🐕 (This is not financial advice, just rockets and dogs)”
“No cap this space dog is absolutely based. I was down bad, living with my parents, eating ramen. Started following the orbital signals and now I'm buying my parents a house. The dog literally said 'woof' and I made 50x. Sheesh! 📈🔥”
“I've been trading since 1987. Survived Black Monday, dot-com crash, 2008 financial crisis. Nothing prepared me for making 1000x returns by following a dog in space. My retirement went from ramen noodles to caviar dreams. God bless that space pup!”
“Spent all my money on anime figurines and body pillows. Found MDOG signals and now I can afford to commission my own anime series about a trading space dog. The dog's technical analysis is more accurate than any AI. Sugoi desu ne! 🎌✨”
“As a Fortune 500 CEO, I've made billion-dollar decisions. But nothing compares to the alpha I get from a space dog's orbital transmissions. Board meetings are just me explaining why our company portfolio follows bark patterns. Shareholders love the 5000% returns.”
“I hate institutions, governments, and authority. But this space dog? This dog gets it. Decentralized, autonomous, and sending signals from orbit like a true punk rocker. Made enough to fund my own anarchist commune. Power to the space puppers! 🏴☠️”
“I right-clicked and saved millions of JPEGs. But MDOG signals? Those can't be screenshotted. The dog's orbital transmissions are the ultimate non-fungible alpha. Sold my entire Bored Ape collection to follow space dog signals. Best trade ever made! 🖼️🚀”
“I was a traditional hedge fund manager making 12% annually. Then I started following the space dog's signals and made 420,690% in three months. My wife's boyfriend is jealous. #BringHimHome #MDOG”
“Lost my house, car, and dignity on shitcoins. Was living in a van down by the river. Found MDOG signals and now I own three Lambos and a rocket ship. The dog literally saved my life from behind Wendy's dumpster.”
“Bro this space dog is literally psychic. I followed his signal to short Ethereum at $4.2k right before it crashed to $900. Made enough to quit my job at McDonald's and buy my own McDonald's franchise. WOOF WOOF! 🐕🦺”
“I manage $2.4 billion for pension funds. Secretly following Mike's dog for alpha and outperforming the S&P 500 by 50,000%. My clients think I'm a genius but it's literally just a space dog barking trading signals. Don't tell them.”
“I was buying high and selling low for 3 years straight. Lost my kids' college fund twice. Then I found MDOG signals and turned $50 into enough money to send all three kids to Harvard. The dog is better than any financial advisor I've ever met!”
“I definitely don't own Tesla or SpaceX, but if I did, I would say this space dog has better market timing than my entire team of analysts. Hypothetically speaking, of course. 🚀🐕 (This is not financial advice, just rockets and dogs)”
“No cap this space dog is absolutely based. I was down bad, living with my parents, eating ramen. Started following the orbital signals and now I'm buying my parents a house. The dog literally said 'woof' and I made 50x. Sheesh! 📈🔥”
“I've been trading since 1987. Survived Black Monday, dot-com crash, 2008 financial crisis. Nothing prepared me for making 1000x returns by following a dog in space. My retirement went from ramen noodles to caviar dreams. God bless that space pup!”
Real questions. Real answers.
Contact Mission Control for additional orbital intelligence briefings
Stop following paper hands. Start funding the rescue mission.
